Hitting the Wall
Well, I made it past the 48 hour mark . . . barely. I made it all the way until about 1:30 today, which would have been, well . . . 55 hours since he left. It's getting longer! I got pretty pissy and irritated with work stuff. Got hungry for a bunch of crap and basically turned into a bit of a bitch. Unlike last week, I am not channeling my issues for the greater good. In fact, instead of hauling all that crap I sorted last week to Goodwill? I've just left it in the garage and parked in the driveway. Nice! I could at least move it to the side, but that would require going out there, and it's too dang cold!
J will be here Saturday morning. I'm going to try and set up a playdate for D so that we can spend some grown-up time during the day. Then we'll do something together and with our friends L&D, since he's deploying on Monday. That whole thing is making me feel so guilty for missing J while he's at work. Especially when there's all likelihood that someday I'll be sitting in her shoes when J deploys. Hopefully J will trade his Sunday shift for Monday and can just stay through Monday morning. If not, we'll make it work. God knows there is plenty that I should be doing on Sunday, but if he's able to be here, then all bets are off!
J called today and asked me and D to go to Texas with him next month to meet his Mom. I so appreciate his desire to include D, and honestly, since it's the weekend before his birthday trip, I wouldn't be able to find someone to watch D anyway . . . but it adds a different element of pressure. It means that I have to be impressive as a mom and as a wife-to-be, all at the same time. I know that I can pull it off, it just means a lot to me that his family likes me. This has all happened so fast and I can only hope that they do.
J is waffling on the wedding issue. (Not about whether to get married, rather to have a big wedding instead of a destination wedding.) He really wants to do the whole deal. I don't know if I can manage the poufy white dress thing again. I don't really want to have the bridesmaids in matching dresses and tuxes all around. I can't imagine my friends buying me ANOTHER wedding gift! So hopefully we'll talk through some of it this weekend and find out what each of us really wants and how to find a compromise that works. When I make a list of the people that I really want to be there (from my side), there are about 25. About 4 of them are absolutely necessary. I would guess that of the 25, 15 would travel to "somewhere" with us. But his family is the most important. And he needs to make that call. I would also gladly have a big reception here, later. But when it's all said and done, I want to make him happy, no matter what. I just hope to God it doesn't have to include a big white wedding dress - please!
J will be here Saturday morning. I'm going to try and set up a playdate for D so that we can spend some grown-up time during the day. Then we'll do something together and with our friends L&D, since he's deploying on Monday. That whole thing is making me feel so guilty for missing J while he's at work. Especially when there's all likelihood that someday I'll be sitting in her shoes when J deploys. Hopefully J will trade his Sunday shift for Monday and can just stay through Monday morning. If not, we'll make it work. God knows there is plenty that I should be doing on Sunday, but if he's able to be here, then all bets are off!
J called today and asked me and D to go to Texas with him next month to meet his Mom. I so appreciate his desire to include D, and honestly, since it's the weekend before his birthday trip, I wouldn't be able to find someone to watch D anyway . . . but it adds a different element of pressure. It means that I have to be impressive as a mom and as a wife-to-be, all at the same time. I know that I can pull it off, it just means a lot to me that his family likes me. This has all happened so fast and I can only hope that they do.
J is waffling on the wedding issue. (Not about whether to get married, rather to have a big wedding instead of a destination wedding.) He really wants to do the whole deal. I don't know if I can manage the poufy white dress thing again. I don't really want to have the bridesmaids in matching dresses and tuxes all around. I can't imagine my friends buying me ANOTHER wedding gift! So hopefully we'll talk through some of it this weekend and find out what each of us really wants and how to find a compromise that works. When I make a list of the people that I really want to be there (from my side), there are about 25. About 4 of them are absolutely necessary. I would guess that of the 25, 15 would travel to "somewhere" with us. But his family is the most important. And he needs to make that call. I would also gladly have a big reception here, later. But when it's all said and done, I want to make him happy, no matter what. I just hope to God it doesn't have to include a big white wedding dress - please!
posted by amykat at 1/12/2006 06:03:00 PM
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