Another 48 Hour Date

So, J thoroughly enjoys keeping me off-balance. Instead of going home after his 12 hour shift, he got in the car and called me at 2:15 am . . . from my front porch! He knew that if he told me, I'd flip out about him driving that late, that tired, etc. I was wearing old flannel pajamas and had left my room a total disaster while I sorted out clothes . . . welcome to my life, babe! At least he's seeing the real nature of our lives and home (although there's something to be said for keeping some of it a mystery). I got so jazzed about seeing him that I wasn't able to go back to sleep. So we were up until almost 6:00 am. Whoops! D woke me up at 7:15. So things were a little tired around here on Saturday.

J and I escaped for lunch, just the two of us and talked through some wedding stuff. He doesn't fully understand why I am so opposed to the full-blown traditional wedding. And I do understand that he hasn't had one. And he deserves to have that. So we'll need to find a compromise. I actually did some looking today and am fairly intrigued by the idea of a wedding in Yosemite. Keep the list fairly tight, mostly family and a few friends. Do more of a vacation-type atmosphere. There are lots of lodging options that could suit any preference for luxury vs. economy. It gave me some glimmer of excitement about pulling something together. Because when it's said and done, I just want to be his wife!

We saw "Hoodwinked" with D on Saturday afternoon. Worst. Kids. Movie. Ever. Indescribably BAD! Pizza for dinner and then headed for bed! I was too tired to function. D had a mini-breakdown (it was quite justifiable given the changes that have swept our home lately) and I literally just had to kiss him and walk away. He was over-tired and pulled a selfish tantrum, but again, he deserves to do that every so often.

Yesterday was much better as far as how I felt physically. I needed to gorcery shop (badly) and J sent me out the door while he hung with D. So nice to go to the store by myself without paying $10 per hour to do it! Then I came home and went for a run. Unfortunately, I was so relaxed and such in a complete escape mode, I went for 50 minutes instead of my typical 30. My legs are killing me right now!

D had a friend over and we migrated to the park a bit later. The boys (all three of them, including J) had a great time playing tag and hide/seek. I got some great pictures and it was good to see the sun! It was only one day, but it was better than nothing. Then we were off to see L&D, since he is leaving for Iraq tomorrow. It was a frantic, chaotic environment and I had to work to hold it together, but it was good to say goodbye. I am so committed to covering their family in prayer and service while he is gone. It is even more important to me now, knowing the full sacrifice these men make. The knowledge that I will have to release J to deployment at some point is the only thing that draws me towards insanity in this entire deal.

We finished the day with dinner at my Mom's. She and her boyfriend are a lot of fun to be around. I think he felt better after meeting J, since he was pretty much out of town and I fell in love over those 12 days that he was gone! J, D and I had a rousing game of Go Fish, in which we all spoke in English accents. My accent tended to swing towards a Scottish flavor . . . not sure where that came from. I love the fact that J gets right on the floor with us and connects at that silly level.

We came home and got D settled into bed. J then poured me a glass of wine and I knew that something was up as soon as he handed it to me! We talked through some of his past and worked through how those issues affect us now. It was good. I wish he would have brought it all up sooner. He got himself into quite the state, worrying about my reaction. I hope that he was reassured by my responses. It's going to take some time for both of us to grow through our insecurities and begin to truly trust how we react to the difficult stuff.

I was completely reassured, yet again, by the ease in which he infiltrates into our lives. I miss him so completely when he goes. Friday seems a long ways away.